It comes in waves

wpid-20141230_081703.jpgWhen my Mom first passed away people told me grief  would come in waves. I knew this to be true as my Mom wasn’t the first person I lost. But what I didn’t know was about the waves coming at inopportune times. I’ve been very lucky. Mom’s been gone around 14 weeks and (in my humble opinion) I’ve dealt with it pretty well. I miss her, of course, and a day has yet to pass that I don’t think about her. But i do not generally think of her sadness. I think about things she cooked, places we visited, stories that involved her.

Today though I was at Mr. E’s and we were watching a movie that Mom introduced me to when I was a tiny Katie. Twas the Night Before Christmas. It’s a great story involving a family of mice and I watched it over and over when I was a child with my Mom. When the movie ended I felt a bit like a wave hit me and all of the sudden I missed her. For a moment when that wave hit I felt like I was drowning and after that moment I felt that cold fear that I often feel when I’m almost drown in the ocean.  Poor Mr. E I didn’t tell him what was wrong till a few hours later and i think he thought I was mad at him. *sigh* feelings are hard.

Tonight I miss her. And I don’t doubt that there will be more waves. And more tears. But that’s OK. I’ll deal with them as they come. For now I’ll go to work. See my friends. Keep busy and remember my Mother fondly.

PS: Here is the movie that I used to watch as a kid. Thank heavens for youtube!


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