Negative

At work recently it has been brought to my attention that I am a negative Nancy. I’ve been called a lot of things (many of the words can’t be used on a website that a child might find!) but this word for some reason hurt me deeply. It has certainly caused me to look inwardly. Am I negative? Do I look on the bright side? Do people not want to be around me because I am a negative part of there life? So I pondered. Complained to some of the people I love most in the world. Rearranged my desk at work. Hid in the bathroom at work and teared up a little bit. Yep. This comment said in what was supposed to be a funny manner (around 5 times!) has bothered me so much that I’ve resorted to hiding in the bathroom for a few minutes. #awesome #Ihatebeingagirl
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So the question. Am I negative? Well after much soul searching I think I am. Katie, almost 30, single, career oriented, negative. I didn’t like this realization. I thought that I was dealing with everything OK. I mean after my surgery I had some MAJOR open heart surgery blues. But I got through them. (Without medication because my cardiologist and primary doctor could not agree on anything for me to take that wouldn’t jeopardize my heart.) My mom died at 51, 15 months ago. My friends moved away. The Brother moved. Mr. E dumped me. Work is frustrating. Woe is me. So yes I’m negative. But I am going to work on it.

But where do I begin? #Scratcheshead I’ve started to read a daily devotional on being positive. But I read it before bed. Maybe I should read it when the author intended when I wake up. Start the day with something positive. Instead of getting up and immediately starting breakfast spend 5 minutes reading something positive.

Work on the words I use at work. Be more positive and less of looking at the negative side. BUT I will still be real. A lot of what I do has been tried before my tenure as the Elm Street Manager and while I’ve been in this position. If I think/know from experience something isn’t going to work I will still say that I’ll just work on saying it in a more positive light.
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All that being said I am a work in progress. I feel kind of negative about most things. Especially at work. All that is keeping me going some weeks is the Farmers’ Market. And for awhile the Winter Market was doing dismally and I was pretty negative about that also. *sigh* I’m the worst.
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Any ideas of what I can do to be more positive?! Come on internet DO NOT LET ME DOWN! 😉

I feel like this is the saddest most miserable post ever. So I will post something good. I’m going to NYC in a few weeks to see the Vikings Show at the Discovery Center with a friend. I’m also going to see my beloved friend Erin. I also have good health, good friends, good family and #TheFra. I am a lucky person. Even if I sound ungrateful. (I’ll work on that also. It seems I have a lot to work on ha.)
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2 thoughts on “Negative

  1. Lindsay says:

    Hang in there! I like your idea of starting your day with positives. And, knowing who to vent to that is a “safe” person can make a huge difference. Hoping things start to improve on your end soon.

    Like

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